Sometimes, you just have to face up to the rubbish in your fridge

Filed in Blog by on October 31, 2008 18 Comments
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shoo Rayner - children\'s book author andn illustratorWell you just can’t get away from it, can you?
All my talk of baking and actually doing some zero waste houseworky things yesterday and instead, I thought I’d skive off.

Little Miss Green visited a friend yesterday morning which freed up my morning to do much more interesting things than sort the fridge. In the afternoon we took them to one of our libraries to hear Shoo Rayner, a local children’s author and illustrator speak.
He was great fun! Loads of kiddies of all ages turned up and when they were all settled and focused he began with his tale:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!!

No, that was him, not me – that’s how he began his tale. He’d promised a scary story you see.

He went on to tell all the children that if they looked in the back of their fridges they would be sure to find ‘something’.

Something that had been there for two years and was wibbly, wobbly, green, dripping and slimy. Something like an old piece of pizza or piece of cheese that had be forgotten, lurking against the backplate. It was all getting a little too close for comfort and I think I was the most scared person there while thoughts of my fridge chock full of landfill rubbish grew in my over imaginative mind.

He went on to tell us that he found something scary in his fridge once – a piece of pizza. But (sounding strangely familiar) he wondered what would happen if he left it another two years. I instantly felt a kindred spirit with this man.

What happened was, the piece of pizza came alive and turned into the PIZZA MONSTER; causing havoc through the towns and eating people.

So you see, you just can’t get away with procrastinating for too long because the Universe has a strange way of reminding you what you SHOULD be doing.

After Little Miss Green and her friend had learned from Shoo how to draw their own pizza man and swamp monster we headed home for tea. I opened the fridge door and a waft of something terrible burst forth from its bowels (quite literally I’m sure). The swamp monster was definiately at home.

The cat got blamed for farting (she denied it and left the building in a sulk) and I had to hold up my hands and say that it was because I had just opened the fridge.

Holding onto one another for support, Mr Green and I tackled the contents together where we found the culprit. It was a small tub of cream with a teaspoon or so of the original contents left in the bottom of it. It was hard, crusty, yellow, with pink and white spots. And boy did it smell bad.

Mr Green said ‘You don’t expect me to wash that pot do you?’ so onto the fire it went.

Yep, we burnt a plastic container on the fire. All this talk of ‘no incineration’ thank you and we did the very deed ourselves.Β  But there are some things a boy and a girl, no matter how experienced in such matters, just cannot bring themselves to do.

If that wasn’t enough, the cat, who has been standing in the cold for a couple of hours and was still narked at being blamed for the horrendous smell, came in, nibbled a houseplant as an hour d’oeuvre while waiting for tea, and was promptly sick over the floor.

Wibbly, wobbly, green, dripping, slimy stuff anyone?

About the Author ()

I am a long time supporter of the Green and Sustainable lifestyle. After being caught in the Boscastle floods in 2004, our family begun a journey to respect and promote the importance of Earth's fragile ecosystem, that focussed on reducing waste. Inspired by the beauty and resourcefulness of this wonderful planet, I have published numerous magazine articles on green issues and the author of four books.

Comments (18)

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  1. maisie says:

    I need to check my fridge and pull everything out and clean it before i go “shopping” aaaagh on either Saturday or Sunday.

    It doesn’t look too bad but it will need the odd jars checking for furry monsters, that might have appeared in time for Halloween.

    As for the trick or treaters, I’m afraid this year I have succumbed to the plastic wrapped lollies, purely because my 2 are not going and they will be easy to hand out to any door knockers. (DS1 is staying at a friends and DS2 & DH are going to the cinema to watch the new Bond movie)

  2. esther says:

    hihihi, you got me really laughing here, as those kind of smells, well, we all know ‘m, don’t we?

    As for me, just got out of the hospital with the littlest one, yesterdaynight….we went in on monday. so as far as for a real holiday in holland…..

    Anyway had loads of time over there to think of the huge pile of rubbish to go in landfill every day from the hospital. I know that the disposable stuff is necessairy in the hospitals and that it has saved lots of lives, but still…sinc the little one has been in a hospital in france 5 weeks ago, here in holland we also needed to go in quarantine…imagine …every time a nurse or doctor came in, they had to put on disposable clothes and throw them away right after our visit.

    That, plus the injections, masks, medicine wrappings, gloves, yoghurt’s, tea and coffee cups etc etc etc, and knowing they dont even recycle paper, so for the paper wrappings it’s a no too….Gosh! They can’t make all that stuff out of other disposable material, that isn’t going to fill a landfill?

  3. Oh Mrs G – LOL…just in time for Halloween eh. It reminds me I still haven’t pulled the dregs of yoghurt from the back of my fridge, but as it’s trick or treat tonight, I might just be spurred into action…..you know….put your hand in here little ones…(evil laugh) ahahah.

    On another horror note…burning your rubbish eh? Perhaps you could put in a bid if a tender for EfW comes up in your area, LOL. πŸ˜€ x

    A quick message to Esther: sorry to hear you’ve had to take your little one into hospital. Hope everything’s okay now xxx

  4. Oh hospital with little ones is horrid, I hope all is better now.

    And as for the fridge monster, mine needs cleaning but I think I need a cuppa first, then the kitchen floor needs mopping, then it’ll be dark and the trick or treaters will start…. then another cuppa, can I do it tomorrow?

  5. I’ve had some equally stinky stuff in my fridge, that’s for sure. But nothing lately, happily! I’m totally loving my new, cleaner fridge. πŸ™‚

  6. Elizabeth B says:

    Oh gad, this made me laugh so much! But only out of empathy, I promise. (I just threw out a few beets that had grown blue spots, and I have two cats who are occasionally sick in strategic places.)

    Two Californian thumbs up to you for the wonderful example you set. πŸ˜€

  7. Mrs Green says:

    Maisie, I’m feeling smug this morning as the dastardly deed has been done. Have you done your fridge yet? I bought foil wrapped zero waste chocolate coins for visiting witches! Hope your boys enjoyed their nights out.

    Esther, good to hear from you. I’m hoping your little one is ok? And my goodness, you’ve really seen some waste in the hospitals…….. Hope all is well for you all.

    Mrs A; you think there might be some money in it for us if we offer to burn our neighbour’s rubbish?! Did you get rid of the yogurt? I have some in the other fridge to get rid of and I’m really scared LOL!

    Sarah, dare I ask if your fridge is now sparkling?

    Kristen; you’re a bit of a star aren’t you? I’m so glad you are reading the rewards of your Frugal challenge; that’s really awesome – we’ll all be heading over for tips!

    Elizabeth – welcome to the site; and thank you for leaving a comment. I’m glad that was empathy laughing going on over there πŸ˜€ Ahhh, but we wouldn’t be without our feline friends now would we? πŸ˜‰

  8. Katy says:

    My fridge is mostly clean but you just reminded me that there is a too-long-open carton of cream that someone brought round as part of a potluck supper a while ago. It’s not something we usually buy so I forgot about it πŸ™ Oh foo!

  9. Ah, don’t be too impressed. You should see some of my old food waste photos! It took me a good long while to get to this point.

  10. Oh, and so glad to see you on my blog again! I’ve missed you!

  11. maisie says:

    Mrs Green, yes I did get the fridge sorted, I did in between “trick or treaters” on Friday night.

    Wasn’t too bad actually, half a jar (usually buy small tins)of tom puree which will go into tonites spag bol, otherwise ongoing jars of jams and chutneys that are being used weekly, but no furry monsters, so that is good.

    Both boys really enjoyed Friday, DS1 ended up by also going to Middlesborough Saturday to watch the footy match there with his friend, they had a spare ticket.

  12. Indiebird says:

    Hi, Mrs Green, I need to do this….. might add it to the list. There is always more interesting stuff to do isn’t there?! or is it just me that finds that she has to sort out her ‘making box’, ‘go read some more blogs’ even clean the shower rather than tackle the unknown….. ?

  13. Indiebird??? **waving** It is you isn’t it??

  14. Tracey Smith says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has lots of rubbish adventures! LOLOL….

    TS x

  15. Mrs Green says:

    Sarah, to the back of the class at once. πŸ˜€ One second thoughts, you are knitting, keeping chickens and doing seed to table pumpkins, so I guess I shouldn’t be too hard πŸ˜€

    Oooo, Katy, I hope you managed to fish out the cream and dispose of it without too many bad smells.

    Kristen, I have seen some of your old food waste photos, which is why I love reading your blog so much to see how far you have journeyed; it’s been very inspirational and I thought of you and Katy while I was doing our own zero food waste challenge.

    Glad your boys had a good weekend, Maisie and pleased to hear that there was nothing nasty waiting for you in the fridge. Good news all round then!

    Hey Indiebird, good to see you. Oh yes, this has been a long awaited procrastination job. But when the fridge smells like an old fart, you know it’s time to get in there and fish everything out.

    Tracey, you are SO not alone!!

  16. Tracey Smith says:

    LOLOLOL……oh, for a lady that ‘does’!

    Love as ever,
    TS
    x

  17. I was already at the back, I’m the heckler…. πŸ˜€

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